Tag: Love

Joy

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Elizabeth:  the oath or fullness of God

Seems fitting.  Elizabeth came into our lives on December 2, 2017 around 4 pm.  She was pure joy from the beginning with her strong will, curly dark hair, brown eyes and beautiful smile.  Eli (Ellie), was pure happiness with a little bit of toddler mixed in.  She immediately loved Landen and Reece and became an easy fit into our family.

Almost 5 months to the day of her arrival, she has moved on to some relatives.  She approached her departure with the same courage as when she came to our house.  Two years old and already teaching us so much about strength, courage and faith in humanity.

I pray that they treat her well.  I pray that her parents make better choices and raise her to be the strong, creative, kind and intelligent person she is meant to be.  I pray that she maintains her joy in the everyday things, her positive energy, her curiosity and her silly sass.  I pray that she continues to be allowed to be a kid.  To play outside on the swing or the slide, in the sand or in water.  To paint daily, to play with stickers, to do puzzles and play with superhero toys.

Elizabeth has definitely demonstrated the fullness of God to us.  We will miss her greatly. Our heart will hurt for a long while.  I hope that we will see her again and get to be apart of her life, but if not, I know we got to experience her joy for 5 months and I am thankful.

 

Grief

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Grief is the price we pay for love.  -Queen Elizabeth II

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I miss him.  Did I do enough for him?  Did I give up too soon?  Is he healthy now?  Is he happy now?  I miss him.

My heart actually hurts.  It is mental, physical, emotional and exhausting.

I miss him

grief:  keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss

Be Brave

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Landen is on the Dana’s School of Dance drill team this year.  She goes to classes 3 nights a week (totally about 6 hours).  She is committed and loves it.  This past Saturday was their first competition as a team.  She was nervous, anxious and excited.  But mostly she was brave, bold and confident.  She danced beautifully and I am so proud of her!  I am proud of her attitude, her honesty, her determination and her shear commitment to this group and this process.  She said she loved performing (especially the applause) but not the awards ceremony.  Of course, I loved that statement even more.

I am thankful we have a found a dance studio that fits her personality.  It is serious but not too serious.  And it picks age appropriate songs, dance moves and outfits.

Next year she wants to do a solo.  I love watching her spread her wings.  Fly, baby, fly!

“All that is important is this one moment in movement. Make the moment important, vital, and worth living. Do not let it slip away unnoticed and unused.”
― Martha Graham

Landen is 11

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Landen Grace Murry is kind, thoughtful, intuitive, observant, inquisitive, creative, funny, beautiful, loyal, loving and caring.  She loves to cook, dance, be with friends and hold babies.  And she always loves to be in charge.  I think she was born aware, inter-dependent and with an old soul.  I am proud and thankful to be her mother.  And I am proud of her.

For a long time there were only your footprints & laughter in our dreams & even from such small things, we knew we could not wait to love you forever. – Bryan Andreas

This Man

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This man has my heart.  He is kind, smart, funny, thoughtful, principled, and creative.  He supports us ALL through love.  This man leads by example, loves God and ALWAYS takes the high road.  He is THE partner to have in any and all situations and I am so thankful that God saw fit to make him my forever partner.  This man makes my day brighter just by being.

Big Dreams

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img_0396A love of food gets passed along.  Gregg has that love of food.  It’s grown over the years from a necessity to a relaxing obsession.  Landen has acquired his taste, observance, technique and desire.

Cooking shows fill the airwaves in our home.  WE watch, critique, admire and dream.  A couple of months ago Landen found THE show that was going to highlight her dad’s impeccable cooking skills.  And so we filled out an application. What happened next has been a ride that none of us expected, especially Gregg.  Had we known the amount of time it would required for Gregg to participate in this show, we may have thought twice. Instead we risked and signed him up for the competition.  Hundreds and maybe thousands apply for this competition so why shouldn’t we sign up the best chef we know?

Phone calls, emails, Skype calls and one sliced off finger tip and HE made it on the show!  I don’t know how Gregg has felt throughout this process, but I do know that there are at least 3 girls in TX that are proud of him.  Win or lose, we are proud.  And we are hopeful and we are excited and we are in awe.  And we brag and we share and we anticipate and plan for the big trip and the big show.  And we are all in NYC.

And after a 10 hour day, it is over.img_0458

The mixture of emotions that was displayed between these girls and their father was beautiful.  Joy and pride, anticipation and excitement, disappointment and yet appreciation.  I witnessed a level playing field of humanity tonight.  No hierarchy.  Just pure human emotion surrounding the events of the last couple of months and it was beautiful.  Risking big without huge reward.  Being brave.  They know.  

A lot of life is reacting to what ‘happens’ to us or accepting the ‘consequences’ of our actions.  This is how we respond to life and this is what we teach our kids.  Today Gregg taught us all how to be brave and to risk.   How to boldly go after something that seems crazy and beyond the expected life path and he did it with humility, hard work, and an open heart.  Most of all he taught our kids how go after your dreams and I am so thankful.

Grieving

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‘It feels like he died.’ -Reece

Love Always

Everyone feels like that but Reece said it.

She is right.  But she is wrong.

 It’s the strange life of a foster family.  When they leave it hurts like they have died.  But after a few days the fog clears and the constant prayers ease the pain and God shows His goodness.

And we remember that he was not meant to be with us forever.  We hope and we pray we will get to continue a relationship with him, but that is not up to us.  And so we pray and believe that God’s got him…because He does.

 

Routine

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I like routine but not for the reason you think.  I like routine so I can feel rebellious when I break from routine.  Its kind of like rules.  I like to know the rules so I know how to bend them or work around them.  But this morning, I am missing the routine.  For the last nine months, my morning routine, when Gregg is out of town, (which is usually 2 days a week) has been to take the girls to school with Jayden.  We drop them at school and come straight back home.  I would get coffee and make a bottle.  Jayden would wait patiently in his car seat watching my every move.  Then I would get him out of his car seat and we would grab a blanket and a TV remote (sometimes) and get settled into our morning spot.  We would hug and kiss on each other.  He would eat a couple of ounces and then sit up and talk with me.  Lately, he would try to use the chair as a chew toy and then our game would begin.  Tickles, kisses, hugs.  Sometimes we would FaceTime Nana & Papa and he would work with all his might to give them kisses.  Sometimes we would watch the morning news.  But all the time, it ended with us snuggled up while he finished his bottle and fell asleep.  An hour of routine that I grew to love and rarely missed.