I am just another voice sharing my opinion.  Maybe it will matter and maybe it won’t.  It will matter to those I love and that love me…maybe…but it might not change their opinions.  I have been processing more than usual during this political season.  Is it because we are raising girls?  Is it because I was sexually assaulted in college?  Is it because we care for foster children and illegal immigrants?  Is it because I am shocked at how divided our extended family is during this political time?  Or is it because I am disgusted by how nasty the political world has become and the dividing line between people?

Here is what i have a hard time with…when did it become acceptable for our Nation’s leader to treat women with such disdain and hatred?  When did it become acceptable for leaders to lie repeatedly and there be NO repercussions?  I know this isn’t the first President to lack respect for women and to lie (unfortunately), but when did we decide, as a nation, that it’s an acceptable attribute?  Because, the truth is, with this type of blatant, egotistical, power monger as our President it gives others (in all walks of life) the freedom to treat whomever they want however they want without consequences.  Is that how we want our children to treat others?  Is that how we want to treat each other? We have elected the biggest bully to be our President and we expect to teach our kids better?

One of the things we learned in graduate school (and that I learned from my father) is that the leaders create the environment in which they are over by how they act, how they treat people, and who they hire.  By setting boundaries that are acceptable and unacceptable.  As I have gotten older and cared for children, I see this is also a great parenting strategy. Now, I’m not naive. I know there is evil in the world.  I know not everyone agrees with my top-down leadership approach and  I know others have differing opinions that me.  However I choose to treat those others with respect and kindness (mostly).

Here is where it gets personal….I was raped over 25 years ago, and I didn’t tell my parents until last weekend.  The reason I didn’t tell:  I didn’t think they would believe me and I thought they would blame me.  Why did I tell them after so long?  Because I wanted to believe that it mattered.  I wanted to believe that by sharing my story, my Dad would be open to changing some of his political and personal opinions.  I wanted to believe that because something mattered it could change an opinion.  I wanted to be able to reconcile how my idol, my dad, could have supported me, told me I could be and do anything,  encouraged me to demand respect from all, shared his Faith in God and required me to treat others with respect…how could the same brilliant man be such a chauvinist, be so narrow minded that he only votes on ONE issue?  How could he not believe the women that have been sexually abused because they didn’t have ‘proof’.  How could he be a trump supporter.  How could my story NOT matter?  How could my story NOT change his opinion?

What I learned was he thought something had happened to me but never asked.  I learned that he is happy i have ‘dealt with it’ but it’s not going to change his opinion.

So does it matter?  Maybe it would have mattered if I had gotten pregnant during my rape like so many women do?

I am not a Republican or a Democrat.  I vote for the candidate that I can agree with the most.  There is not ONE candidate that I agree with entirely.  But I will vote for the person that has displayed leadership qualities that I agree with.  That I can point to, proudly, while talking with the daughters.  That respects women and doesn’t belittle them for amusement. That respects people of different nationalities that are trying to improve themselves and their families.  That doesn’t try to build themselves up by putting others down.  I will vote for the Pro-choice candidate every time, not because I believe Abortion is the way to go, but because I believe every woman should have a choice.

And I will love my dad and i will respect that we have lived different lives.  And I will use this opportunity to teach my daughters to treat people with kindness and respect whether we agree with them or not.  Like my dad taught me.

And I will grieve.