Ordinary Common

When is it too much?  When does enjoying the financial success go too far?  When does sharing it go too far?  When is enough to enough?  When is it ok to want more?  And at what point does money fracture relationships?

I am blessed with living in the tension of too much and not enough.  We foster children.  The poverty stricken children.  We advocate for the parents to have resources to support their own children and themselves.  We advocate for the kids so that they can grow up with basic necessities. And yet WE are financially blessed.  Gregg works hard and makes a fabulous income.  My parents are ‘reaping the fruit of their labors’ and sharing the wealth. We have been given much.  We are white, healthy, live in a safe country, believe in a loving God, are educated and are technically wealthy.

And yet, WE want more.  We want the debt to be paid off so that we can incur more debt. We want a better car, an upgrade to the house, a better house, a more extravagant vacation. When is it enough?  Where is the balance and are we being responsible with what we have been given?

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. – luke 12:48

I live in that tension.  I want to go on the extravagant vacations.  I want to renovate the house and yet I want to help people in poverty and I want to teach my children that there is more out there than getting every ‘thing’ they want when they want it.  Where is the balance?  When does the tension turn to harmony?

One of my favorite things to do is give gifts.  I love gifting friends and family.  Gifting our children is the absolute best.  But when do the blessings (gifts) become harmful to their well being?  How do we balance the wants, the gifts and the responsibilities?  When is it too much?

And then I am reminded that I am focusing on the money and not the relationships.  Money is a tool to enhance life.  It is a tool to survive in the US.  But it is not needed to build relationships.  And really relationships are what life is about.  And how do we build relationships?  We develop them over time, in the mundane, in daily life.

Daily interactions might seem inconsequential – ORDINARY COMMON – yet they are perhaps among the most critical and influential PLACE in personal development and relational capacitiies. = PROSAIC

Money will not build relationships.  Money will allow us to focus on other aspects of life.  Money will allow us to travel and see different parts of the world.  Money will let us celebrate our relationships in a different way.  But if we want to continue to grow and develop our relationships, money is not necessarily needed.  Time is needed.

Relationships are built in the every day.  In the kitchen, in working together towards a common goal, in the happy and the sad, in the challenges.  So maybe that’s the answer.  Maybe the balance is remembering to intentionally focus on doing and teaching the ordinary common, in order to invest in the capacity of the relationships.

 

So maybe the occasional extravagant vacation is ok but to make it the only investment into the relationship is not adequate.  We need to live in the prosaic to teach, to grow and to strengthen our relationships.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

 

Privilege

Change and Expectations are exhausting.  We want change, we want to be excited about the next step and we are mostly – as much as you can be excited for the un-known.  We love looking forward to what is coming and preparing for the next steps but it is tiring.  and while we do our best to focus on being in the here and now and enjoying the today, we must prepare for the tomorrow and it is and can be overwhelming at times.  Even when it is all good and well.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.   2 Corinthians 4:18

This spring has been filled with great events, fun opportunities and incredible experiences.  It is has been a blessing to be able to be in the present and enjoying the kids and home and to dream about what will come.  There has been sadness around as we comfort those we care for in our community but for us and our experiences, we have had very few traumatic events and everything has been exciting and positive.  Landen is finishing 5th grade (elementary school) and her first season on Drill Team.  Reece is finishing 2nd grade and participating on a Gymnastics Team.  Mitch and Liz had their first baby!  Chase is doing his thing in NYC.  Gregg is busy with work and I have been doing CASA classes and pondering the summer and next fall.  So why do I feel so exhausted?  Why I am I having trouble tapping into my emotions?

Why?

BECAUSE IT’S MAY and we have school aged children!  Because the last month I have been on my ‘to do’ mission.  Field trips, school parities, birthday parties, awards events, banquets, summer sign ups and the list goes on.  And not until I took the time to sit down and process all of this did I realize that I am using the wrong words.  I am using change, expectations and exhaustion in the wrong way.  I am using them with a negative almost apprehensive connotation.  A dreaded time when actually it is not that at all.

I have the privilege of being at home and being involved with my elementary kids at school.  I love knowing who they are surrounded by each day.  I love knowing their friends at school and their teachers and how they behaves away from me.  I love seeing that pride and excitement when they sees me at school.  I love being able to text or call any number of people to check on them if they are having a rough emotional day.  So many privileges and until right now as I sit here and try to understand my emotions do I realize the impact of my privilege.  The apprehensive, almost negative, connotations of the expectations and changes fade away, the exhaustion and weight of what is to come gets lighter and the pride of privilege opens up.

I have the privilege to be present as my children grow and change and to transition with them.  I have the privilege of going on the field trips, planning the parties, talking with them at pick up and guiding their discussions.  I had the privilege of being present when our first grand baby was born.  I had the privilege of taking food to the hospital, to supporting them when needed.  Am I tired?  Yes.  Am I grateful?  Hell, yea!

May is exhausting every year.  The to-do list gets long and the events seem to never end.  I can anticipate this and know it is just it’s own season.  And I have the privilege to participate in every event and to walk with our family through the transitions.  Words matter.  Perspective matters.  Time matters.

Privilege –  right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond theadvantages of most:
Transition – movement or passage from one state, stage,subject, concept, etc., to another;
Anticipate – to realize beforehand; foretaste or foresee