Tag: Blessed

Crashing 10 years ago

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Crash

The writing below is from the Fall of 2008.  Little did we know what would unfold in the next 10 years.  So thankful we crashed though!

God has left his mark on us in our life circumstances through the last few years and we have added a mark to commemorate His impact on our world. As many of you may know or recognize, we started a spiritual journey shortly after Chase’s entry to treatment and it has been a progressive process over the last two years or so. Chase’s scenario, Landen’s birth and the failure of Construction Strategies caused us to realize there are more important things in life than building material security.

Once Chase came home, we began to investigate how and where we needed to focus on others. This has been a passionate individual and team journey. God has taken us to places we never thought we would go. I (Krista) have taken on a new perspective about Jesus and God. I have renewed or finally truly established my faith in Jesus Christ. This has allowed me to define new priorities and passions in my life.

As we have progressed along our path to re-discovering God, we have found new books to feed our souls. One of these, The Barbarian Way, provided a perspective that we can truly identify with and has changed our life perspective. The thoughts and ideas shared in this book about how God wants us to live out our Christianity resonated with us. It has prompted us to change our perspective on our Christianity/spiritiuality and our purpose in life. We realize we are here, not to build financial wealth or store up material goods, but to do as much as we possibly can to impact others through Christ’s love. We have taken this to heart. In carrying this mission out, some of our choices may seem crazy, wild, or uncharacteristic. And in earlier years, we might agree. We have made a radical departure from our conservative path of being safe and remaining internally focused. Please understand, we are still being responsibly with our financial debt and we are putting forethought in what we are doing. But we have learned, grown and deepened our relationship with each other, God and our kids and feel we are doing what God is asking of us. We are allowing God to lead us into certain areas such as: adoption, Water is Basic, Sunday School, bible study, a trip to Sudan with the boys, and Parenting Alone to name a few.

As a reminder and encouragement to ourselves to stay on task with these beliefs and to not fall into the ‘safety net’, we have added some art to our body. Yes, a tattoo. The initial concept of this artwork, started with the various designations of a group of animals. For example, a pride of lions, a swarm of bees, a flock of birds, a committee of buzzards and a crash of rhinos. (A rhinoceros runs at 30 miles per hour but their eye sight only allows them to see 30 feet ahead.) I chose a barbaric type cross that is emerging outside of the box with the word crash underneath. To me this symbolizes God moving in and through me in an atypical way or new way. The word crash represents blind faith, as the rhino must have to survive. Gregg’s tattoo has a crash of rhinos overlapping a barbaric cross. The three rhinos represent God, Gregg and myself. God working through us while we crash.

Crash, baby, crash.

Ordinary Common

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When is it too much?  When does enjoying the financial success go too far?  When does sharing it go too far?  When is enough to enough?  When is it ok to want more?  And at what point does money fracture relationships?

I am blessed with living in the tension of too much and not enough.  We foster children.  The poverty stricken children.  We advocate for the parents to have resources to support their own children and themselves.  We advocate for the kids so that they can grow up with basic necessities. And yet WE are financially blessed.  Gregg works hard and makes a fabulous income.  My parents are ‘reaping the fruit of their labors’ and sharing the wealth. We have been given much.  We are white, healthy, live in a safe country, believe in a loving God, are educated and are technically wealthy.

And yet, WE want more.  We want the debt to be paid off so that we can incur more debt. We want a better car, an upgrade to the house, a better house, a more extravagant vacation. When is it enough?  Where is the balance and are we being responsible with what we have been given?

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. – luke 12:48

I live in that tension.  I want to go on the extravagant vacations.  I want to renovate the house and yet I want to help people in poverty and I want to teach my children that there is more out there than getting every ‘thing’ they want when they want it.  Where is the balance?  When does the tension turn to harmony?

One of my favorite things to do is give gifts.  I love gifting friends and family.  Gifting our children is the absolute best.  But when do the blessings (gifts) become harmful to their well being?  How do we balance the wants, the gifts and the responsibilities?  When is it too much?

And then I am reminded that I am focusing on the money and not the relationships.  Money is a tool to enhance life.  It is a tool to survive in the US.  But it is not needed to build relationships.  And really relationships are what life is about.  And how do we build relationships?  We develop them over time, in the mundane, in daily life.

Daily interactions might seem inconsequential – ORDINARY COMMON – yet they are perhaps among the most critical and influential PLACE in personal development and relational capacitiies. = PROSAIC

Money will not build relationships.  Money will allow us to focus on other aspects of life.  Money will allow us to travel and see different parts of the world.  Money will let us celebrate our relationships in a different way.  But if we want to continue to grow and develop our relationships, money is not necessarily needed.  Time is needed.

Relationships are built in the every day.  In the kitchen, in working together towards a common goal, in the happy and the sad, in the challenges.  So maybe that’s the answer.  Maybe the balance is remembering to intentionally focus on doing and teaching the ordinary common, in order to invest in the capacity of the relationships.

 

So maybe the occasional extravagant vacation is ok but to make it the only investment into the relationship is not adequate.  We need to live in the prosaic to teach, to grow and to strengthen our relationships.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

 

It Matters

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IMG_2436What we do matters.  Who your friends are matters.  Every thing we do with and around our kids matters.  How we talk about others matters.  How we love others matters.

I had an AHA moment this weekend.  I had never drawn the parallels in my life to that of my parents.  But this weekend it hit me like a ton of bricks as I attended the funeral of my mom’s best friend.  Too young to die and the most painful type of cancer you can image in the developed world.  62 yo.  They had been friends for almost 40 years.  I am 44.  They only lived in the same town for 11 years.  It didn’t matter. One of those friendships that lasts the test of time and the drama of life.

Joyce was a wild child from a rough and tough family.  The oldest of 4 and only girl, her childhood was full of drugs and violence and void of God.  She grew up in Wichita which doesn’t sound very glamorous or ‘hard core’… but whenever there are drugs involved and it’s YOUR childhood, its ‘hard core’.  She barely stood to 4’11” fully grown but her personality stood 10 feet tall.  And to think this tough girl ended up moving to Pittsburg, KS (smaller than Wichita…much smaller) and married a PREACHER!  She did.  And she was the ‘rebel’ paster’s wife of Pittsburg.  She was hip, opinionated and knew how to unconditionally love.  And while they seemed like opposites on the outside…their hearts connected and so began a 40 year friendship.

What also began was an 11 year run at Open Door Fellowship Church, a non-denomination, charismatic family.  The 11 years were not all great.  But the golden years in the beginning are still a part of my memory and I dare say some of the best moments of my parents lives.  Young couples with their kids or not, attending church Sunday morning and night and Wednesday Nights.  Parents playing softball together.  Pot lucks.  Pepsi, Mississippi Pie, McDonalds, Burger King, late night talking (and falling asleep to them talking)…you could actually feel the love.  Of course, it couldn’t last forever, and it didn’t.  Joyce and Kent moved to Kent’s home town to pastor a church there and that is where they lived for 30 years.  But they visited.  And when they did and if I could ever get close to that smell, sound or feel of excitement, fun, love, laughter and acceptance… I would.  As couples, they made time for each other … the guys enjoying each other as much as the girls.  There was/is a respect and love between these couples that is rare but visible.  Dad and Kent could talk about ANYTHING and always make each other laugh.  Laughter was BIG!

IMG_0952The others in the golden era of ODF were influential and important as well.  At least two families fostered and four families had adopted children.  Many hippies (it was the 70’s) and creative people.  Entrepreneurs (my dad being the king).  All of strong faith and while I didn’t appreciate it at the time and honestly focused on everyone’s faults rather than their faith…it mattered.  Education was important to all around us but loving and taking care of others was equally as important.  If someone needed something and you had it…share it.

Dad and Mom have been the epitome of sharing their knowledge, time and money.  Always looking for others to educate, feed, cloth or pray for…but without reward.  I have no idea how many kids my parents have put through college or families they have fed or clothed.  But I know it’s a lot.  I know that jobs were offered when they probably weren’t deserved.  I know doctor visits were attended with friends when it wasn’t required.  I know dinners were cooked or paid for in restaurants when it wasn’t requested.  And I know acknowledgement was not needed or wanted.  They were merely doing what God had told them to do…love.

There are many hard things about life that I didn’t know growing up.  One I witnessed yesterday.  My mom giving a Eulogy at her best friends funeral.  I can’t imagine.  And she ROCKED it!  She honored her memory and their relationship and God well.  I have never known my mom to be a public speaker.  She can play piano and sing in front of people but to get up and speak…well it has to be for someone special.  And Joyce was special.  I was so proud of her words and her composure.  And after, I learned that she has and does speak publicly in two scenarios:  for the Ronald McDonald House and Tourette Syndrome.  Of course!  When defending and battling for the rights of children and their families.  HA!  IT MATTERS!

This all sounds ideal and perfect right?  NOT!  I have not seen my childhood this way until NOW.  I have been quite critical (ok a lot critical) of my parents and how we were raised.  The craziness of the Charismatic church then jumping to Nazerene then Catholic HS.  The workaholic dad, the emotional mom, the strict parenting, the judgmental nature of it all.  Of course, I was being the most judgmental of all.  They weren’t perfect and still aren’t.  Did dad work a lot?  Yes.  Did he build a fabulous education company for kids K-12 , teachers and families? Yes.  Did he show us a great work ethic, determination and creativity?  Yes.  Did he do the best he could?  Yes.  Is my mom emotional? Yes.  Is she more sensitive and aware of others around her than the normal person?  Yes.  Did she use this for God’s greater good?  Yes.  Does she get paralyzed by over analysis?  Yes.  Is she a great detail person?  Yes.  Did she do the best she could?  Yes.  Where they strict when we were growing up?  Yes.  Did they need to be?  Probably a Yes for me.  😉  Were/Are they opinionated?  Yes and Thank God!  They taught us to question respectfully, not judge.  I so wish I would have understood this earlier.  But I get to see it now and how I view my childhood and how I love and treat my parents matters.  It matters to my kids, my parents, me and to God.

I was blessed.  I am still blessed for this family and that I get to have a veil lifted.  I get to appreciate while they are still alive.  I get to be shown what matters.  I get to be reminded that what we do RIGHT NOW with our ‘second round’ WILL matter when they are grown and on their own. I get to say THANK YOU to a mom and dad that believe in the Trinity and the redemptive love of Christ and lived it out.