We were blessed on August 13, 2015 with the arrival of Jayden. Our newest foster son was 5 days old and adorable. With a full head of black hair and dark eyes, he grabbed all of our hearts immediately.
And over the next 9 months, he wrapped us all around his finger with his constant smile, buddha belly and chill personality.
In the beginning, I was determined to get him placed with his forever family ASAP. I had decided he needed to be moving on by the time he was 3 months. When that came and went, I decided by Thanksgiving he would have his forever family. I called, texted and emailed the caseworker, her supervisor and the attorney. And know-one budged. It seemed they were determined to take a year to place him.
January came and we were informed of a court date. All parties said they were working towards parental rights being terminated. I was excited and hopeful. The court date was a debacle. (I think I wrote about it in another blog post) and a new court date was set for May 13. Five more months of a babies life on hold. 5 more months that another family misses out on. But God lead us to a potential forever family for him and I was excited…And then a great aunt and uncle appear. A home study begins. Then a potential dad. Home study stops. DNA testing wait begins. Two month later, it is determined that DNA is NOT a match. Home study re-starts. All the while, Jayden is growing, developing and bonding with us. A constant source of joy.
I don’t like how his last week went down with the fast approval to transfer him to a distant relative without transitioning him and an over-zealous judge that made a rash removal. But I know this is part of the fostering process. (well not the judge part) We are all still a bit shell shocked. I knew it would be hard when he left, but the way in which he was taken was devastating.
Everyone in this case, the judge, attorneys and to a certain extent the case worker, had no interest in what was best for Jayden. While family is important, there wasn’t any discussion or concern about the fact that he was number 5 in a family which one mother and three fathers. Or that 3 of his other siblings are back in care after being placed with paternal family. There is no interest in doing what’s actually best for Jayden but only that they had a year and that they were dead set on finding someone/anyone that would state they were related and willing to take him.
This happy, well adjusted, loving, giggling, chunky baby was not represented properly or advocated for properly by the people in power. The dysfunctional family that he came from, however, was overly represented to the detriment of this beautiful baby boy.
And so in a selfish act to wield her power, Judge Martin did the unthinkable and removed Jayden from us at the court house. She treated us like criminals for taking care of and loving our ‘little man’. I will eventually let the good memories overshadow this moment
of insanity from the judge but for now I am still processing. I am still aching because he isn’t here. And I am still angry and baffled by the disrespect we were shown in the court room.
I miss him. I miss feeding him and snuggling him and kissing him. I miss his laugh and his dancing to the music. And I pray for him. I pray for the relatives. That they are good people that will love him well. That they will be patient with him while he adjusts to their home. I pray for Jayden that he will bond with them quickly and be comforted when he is scared or sad or confused.
I knew this one was going to be hard to let go…
A love of food gets passed along. Gregg has that love of food. It’s grown over the years from a necessity to a relaxing obsession. Landen has acquired his taste, observance, technique and desire.
Life on this Roller Coaster 