We pack a lot into every day.  Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.  Some days feel mundane and non-eventful.  But the other days … they are full.  They are overwhelming and exhausting.  Yet they are what make me appreciate the mundane days.  Spring was full of eventful days.

The pace of spring was anticipated yet not expected.  I could see the calendar.  I knew what was coming, mostly.  But i didn’t know the toll it would take.  The expected were the dance competitions, gymnastics meets, grieving Alliyah’s re-location, birthdays, Gabriela’s birth and a trips to Disney.  The unexpected were the family health challenges, school re-zoning, a puberty and identity crisis for Reece, alienation from our grand-daughter and  starting a new company.

I think the most challenging part of the spring was realizing my attitude, age and stamina have changed…and not necessarily for the better.  I have realized the adrenaline rush of trauma is NOT my friend.   I have realized my emotional and intellectual health impacts my physical health.  I have realized that my body is my chronological age but my stamina wants to be a much younger age and I really want my body to be too.  I have realized my pace needs to be different.

And I have realized that going 6 months without my toes in the sand and my eyes on the ocean is too long.