For the last few days it has felt like Aaliyah was just ‘on a trip’ visiting family.  But the reality that she is gone is now setting in…and I miss her so.  I miss her sassy attitude, her ‘nah’ to everything, her wandering around the house to find anyone’s clothes to put on, her dancing and her snuggles.   I miss her yet I know she is where she needs to be.

Every foster child has a different story.  Aaliyah’s story and her entry into our world was no exception.  Typically when we ‘go back on the list’ for a foster child, we receive a call within 2-3 days.  However, that didn’t happen in August.  Instead we waited and waited.  Then in late August I received a group text message from a previous caseworker asking if anyone would take a 1 yo female.  That the judge wouldn’t order her removal until she was certain she had a place to go.  I jumped on it and said, Yes!

Crickets…for 6 more days.  (also no other calls for placements) The Tuesday after Memorial Day they were going back to court.  About 3 pm the caseworker texted and said the judge had ordered the baby to be removed.  Then crickets.  They had gone to remove the baby and the caregiver had left with her.  She was on the run.  It took a few hours to locate them and finally do the removal.  Finally about 10 pm, Aaliyah joined our family.

Aaliyah came to us as a very frightened little girl.  Our best guess is that she had been held most of the time by one person and had not had safe encounters with others.  She seemed to be trained to sit and be still with her blanket.  Every noise,  movement, human and animal scared her.  Her blankie was/is her prized possession and best friend.  (especially the corners.) 

We have worked hard to gain her trust (especially gregg), encouraged and taught her how to play with toys and worked with her on her eating skills.  While she is still apprehensive to new people coming into the house, she has grown to trust our home to be safe with safe people.  And she is starting to come into her own. She is a very opinionated, smart and aware little girl now.  She gibber gabbers all the time and has a few words and signs she can use.  She also understands things VERY well.  And she LOVES to dance and snuggle.

Aaliyah has 3 brothers (2 older, 1 younger).  The older brothers are placed with a dad.  The younger brother is placed with an Aunt and Uncle.  Unfortunately, the same families couldn’t take in Aaliyah when she came into care and birth mom was determined to get her into care with family that would grant her illegal access. Fortunate for Aaliyah, none of the other people that birth mom requested passed home studies. So we really expected to have her for a very long time (like a year).  But Aaliyah’s journey took a turn a few weeks ago.   The court went back to the Aunt and Uncle and they agreed to take her in.  (they have a 14 yo, 3 yo, 1.5 yo and A’s brother- 5 mo.)  Unfortunately birth mom doesn’t want her with Aunt and Uncle so pushed back and a special hearing had to be done to place Aaliyah there.  So we had a week of limbo.

During that week, I had a couple of exchanges with Aaliyah’s attorney as I requested transition for this emotionally sensitive child.  A couple of days prior to the special court hearing, the attorney called and after our discussion about Aaliyah, asked what my maiden name was.  It seems we had worked at camp Ryla at the same time…18 years ago!!!  God knew this interaction would take place…what a privileged to be able to get a glimpse into His plan.  Amazingly this connection would open a dialogue with the attorney that would allow us to transition Aaliyah to her aunt and uncle.  And it was beautiful.  Exhausting but beautiful.  They seem like wonderful people and it the best place for her to be…with her family.  And we get to have an on-going relationship with her.  God is so good.  This experience has given me a renewed hope in the process and I am so thankful that we could fill in the gap for Aaliyah.

And I still miss her.