I feel like a mess.  Adrenaline pumping, tears welling up at a moments notice and patience thin.  What do I do, Jesus?  Why do I need to tell my parents and my children?  What good with it do?  I may be able to ‘go public’ with my story but doesn’t it create more harm than good?  So why do i feel the pressure to do it?  And HOW in the world do I share news like that?  I can’t do it without your guidance and support.  Are YOU prompting me or is this an external pressure?  I think I want to be able to stand with the other women.  But … a beautiful silver/gray dragonfly just landed on my computer and hasn’t moved.  The intricacy of it’s wings and tale and all is beautiful.  I looked up the meaning of this, as i have heard they have a spiritual meaning and this is what came up:

The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

I can only think that this is from you, Jesus.  Transcending and transforming me to become who you meant me to be.  It moved spots and let me touch it.  I have never had this happen.

 dragonflies can travel between dimensions, and are messengers of dreams and illusions

Thank you, Jesus.  I feel a calm knowing that You have prompted me to share.  This is a part of my journey.  Please dear Jesus…continue to lead me.  Lead me to the time and the place.  Share with me the words.