The truth is, I drink too much alcohol for my soul.

The truth is, I drink too much alcohol for my soul.  WOW, big truth there.  I have struggled with thinking that I drink too much but then I justify it.  I don’t drink until I pass out.  I don’t drink until I throw up.  I don’t HAVE to have it everyday, I WANT to.  I don’t get the shakes if I stop for a couple of days.  I have known alcoholics and I don’t drink nearly as much as they do.

justify:  to prove or show to be just, right, or reasonable – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

So how much do I drink daily?  Anywhere from 2 glasses to a bottle of wine.  Whew I said it.  Some may think that’s a crazy amount and others may think it’s nothing.  And the truth is it may not make me an alcoholic but what I have finally figured out is that it is too much for my soul and it’s a habit that must be broken.

My drinks involve vodka or wine and i love to socialize around either.  To celebrate or to commiserate…there is always a good excuse to drink wine.  But it’s gotten out of control.  Now drinking wine is like drinking water.  It doesn’t seem as special anymore.  Now it goes all evening.  It numbs my brain and relaxes my body.  I would say it’s not every night but it is more nights than not.  I have taken something that I love the taste of and turned it into a habit or dare I say a god?  The truth is i don’t enjoy it anymore because I have taken it too far for me.  I am drinking too much for my soul.

abuse:  improper or excessive use or treatment – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

And i just described the word abuse.  WOW.  <deep breath>